Things I have learned staffing a resident Girl Scout Camp

1. I spend a lot of time in bathrooms frequented by 5 year old boys. They have NOTHING on 12-13 year old girls when it comes to shear grossness in this arena. Here are the things I never thought I would have to say, but did.
*DO NOT pick your nose and wipe the boogers on the bathroom stall.
*Pooping in the shower stall is UNACCEPTABLE.
*WHY in GOD'S NAME would you throw a used sanitary product on the bathroom floor?
*I don't care HOW mad you are at someone, PEEING on their sleeping bag is NOT the answer.

2. Telenovelas have NOTHING on 12-15 year old girls when it comes to drama.

3. Individually, these girls are lovely, wonderful human beings and I would invite them into my house any day. As a pack, these girls are beyond tiring both emotionally and physically.

4. There are NO sick days at camp. Oh, you have a fever, are losing your voice and can't really breathe through your nose? Suck it up buttercup. You need to get 16 girls moving even though they don't want to.

5. I am totally willing to go up and down a hill that is the equivalent of 10 flights of stairs at 6 AM to be able to drink a good cup of coffee without anyone under 18 talking to me, and take a shower.

6. Kids will eat like starving orphans if you put them out in the woods and make them hike up and down hills, kayak and run on the beach. In fact, they will eat just about anything not nailed down by the end of the week, and may fight to the death over who gets the last slice of garlic bread.

7. You will return from camp craving fresh fruits and vegetables, even though the food is REALLY good. The only vegetables at camp are mush or Caesar salad drowning in dressing.

8. After nearly 30 days of camping and either shopping in tiny stores in middle of nowhere Montana or having the camp kitchen do the kitchen, stopping at Safeway is a little overwhelming.

9. I need to remember that chocolate is a MUST the night I return from a trip, and I MUST figure this out before the kid goes to sleep.

10. If you make friends with the cooks, they will send you home with a care package of the leftovers so you only have to make side dishes for several days after you leave camp. (And they will set aside the GOOD leftovers before offering the rest to the regular staff.)

11. 150 Girls in a dining hall make an ungodly racket.

12. If you encourage girls to bang on the tables, they will do so. They will do it hard enough to spill the drinks on the table.

13. Given a group of adults, I will always be able to find the ones with the dirty minds and childish senses of humor. When you are attempting to get everyone to sit silently and reflect on their wonderful camp experience, we will be in the back, nudging each other with tears streaming down our faces as our shoulders shake with the effort to hold back the laughter because the 12 year old next to us farted, loudly.

14. Whatever the thing that you are least proud of, that is what the girls will tell their parents when they are picked up. For example, if you let a few curses fly when you think you are talking to another counselor alone but turn to find two campers standing there this will happen; "Hey mom, this is my counselor. She is SO COOL!!! Because she swears."