I used to have a clean house. I have pictures that prove it. When it was just Carl and I, I would spend one day a quarter cleaning out and organizing. Pick the room for that round and pull everything out donate, recycle and toss. Even when Carl was gone, I did it. I know that some people thought it was weird and/or heartless to rid myself of his things so quickly but I am less than sentimental about things that aren't functional or heartwarming. Then I had A. And my house has gotten progressively less clean over the last three years.
When A was little, I could occasionally hire a babysitter and get some minor cleaning done, but major decluttering takes hours and there is only so long a babysitter can keep a 18 month old at the park. When you add the need to periodically buy new stuff for a kid, and then inability to effectively clean, you have a recipe for disaster.
I spend many a day wondering if there is a way I can burn my house down and start fresh without either going bankrupt or going to jail for insurance fraud. Let's take today as an example. My house looks like hell. I go to get something out of a closet and the door won't even open because there is SO much stuff crammed into it. So I decide to clean it out. The first ten minutes are spent repeated moving A out of my way and answering "what is that?" 47 thousand times. But then, blessedly, she retreats to the living room to play. I thank God and smile that I am so glad that she is finally getting to an age when she can self entertain. Finish cleaning the floor and go into the living room to be greeted by a naked 3 year old covered in Vaseline. Crap.
Now I remember why my house never gets clean. Where are my matches?
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