Conferring on School Progress and Personality

This week I had a parent teacher conference at A's Preschool. I know, I scoffed at the idea a bit too. But I went and discussed a bunch of things that I already knew about my daughter, and some I didn't.

A is very smart. This is not a surprise. She leads her class in alphabet and phonics work. I am also not surprised, I think she is just naturally wired to love the alphabet. She has known all the letters and most of their sounds for well over a year. She is starting to read 3 letter words and wants to learn more. She cares less about numbers, but she still does pretty well. She counts up to 30 and can identify numbers up to 20. I feel proud she gets it, and then I wonder why because it really isn't something that I have done or instilled in her, I am convinced it is just how she is.

Here is where it gets murkier. Some of the traits her teacher mentioned I think are less desirable in a class, but being me and her mother, I have a hard time not reading them as fairly positive. A likes to add her observations and comments into every discussion, sometimes when it is not the appropriate time. (She is an active participant! And feels passionately about her learning! I see a school career of being the kid with her hand in the air waving it frantically trying to be called on. Ah, I remember those days.) She can be EXTREMELY loud and insistent when reporting slights against her or her friends. (She stands up for her rights! And the rights of others around her!) She is among the most active of the kids in the class....always moving and quickly. She runs with the biggest, most active boys in the class and has no time for children who are dainty, timid or slow moving. The boys she plays with have a habit of playing rough and having a hard time following the rules. Some kids have suffered from the occasionally bruise from them . But not when A. plays with them. Apparently the boys fall in line when playing with her because she simply won't tolerate it. (She is a leader, and a good influence! Maybe her active level will help her avoid the weight struggle that plagued her parents!)

It is funny, because she is shaping up to be a little bit of a mini-me. Maybe that shouldn't surprise me, but it does a bit. I wonder what it means for her teen years. I always wished that I fit in with the other girls more as a teen. I liked girly things, but wasn't interested enough to expend a lot of energy on them and my mom wasn't much for makeup and fashion, so I didn't have a role model for that sort of thing. I always, and sometimes still do, feel more comfortable with boys/men as friends. As a twenty-something, I felt much better about it. One of the highest compliments that anyone ever paid me was to tell me that I was the most authentically me person he ever met. I didn't try to fit into a stereotype of womanhood and managed to be feminine, self sufficient, and one of the guys at the same time. I can only hope for the same for my daughter, even if it means that the years that most everyone else spends rigidly conforming to gender roles are a little harder for her.