A rough start to the Holidays

Yesterday I rolled out our first holiday experience. I had bought an advent calendar to use as our Christmas countdown. Each pocket is about business sized and I printed two business cards for each day, one with something fun for us to do and one with something nice for us to do for others. I added a small gift to each pocket (even though it was a tight fit for some of the gifts). I thought A. would be over the moon.

The reveal started well. A. was excited (mostly about the presents, those pesky cards are just an afterthought). I explained we were going to open one a day but if she opened any of the other presents I would remove them all. We looked at the cards, our fun activity was going to be going to the town parade and we were going to donate some canned goods to a food drive when we attended a Girl Scout event. A. opened her present and received a ornament that was shaped like Merida from Brave. But within five mins, she was overcome with the need to open another present. She was fiddling with them and managed to sneak one past me and into her room. Then she returned to ask me where the present for day 20 was, in a sly little voice that told me she knew exactly where it was. And asked if she could open yet another.

All hell broke loose when I made good on my threats to remove all the presents and screaming, crying and some hitting broke out, earning her some time in her room on top of the loss of her presents. After a couple more minor squirmishes I decided I was definitely not taking this show on the road and canceled our Girl Scout outing. But I was unable to find information about a food drive drop off that was active online, so that meant our good deed for the day was out. The Christmas parade went pretty well until I made the error of deciding to skip the tree lighting part. (Because I had underestimated the amount of arm strength in the kids so I was lugging 3 camp chairs, 2 blankets and 2 umbrellas the 3 blocks to the car while trying to make sure 2 children didn't get lost or run over. This did not lead to me wanting to stand around in a large crowd.) There was much disappointment over that decision that lead to A. losing some toys for a week. I was trying to make a point about being thankful for what we have (ie. getting to go to the parade) instead of getting upset about what we don't (seeing the tree lighting), but it is possible this lesson in managing our disappointment so as to avoid a melt down and a bad attitude is currently beyond her.

I don't know what is going on, but we are definitely in a phase of pushing every limit and trying to see which requests and statements I REALLY mean and which are just suggestions. (Normally I do want her to do everything I ask her to, but in the interest of picking my battles, sometimes I let go of things I don't care as much about if I get push back.) I think part of it is that I find that I am finding myself expecting more from A. At five and in kindergarten, I expect that she is reaching a point where she should listen better and help out more. I also am reaching the point where I expect her to start managing her attitude after being disappointed or corrected. Up until now, as long as she took her time out or did what I asked, I didn't fuss much about the 'tude, but that is changing. I don't expect her to like everything, but I do think she needs to start finding the ability to be respectful even when she doesn't like what is happening. Maybe that is pie in the sky thinking, or maybe it is something I should have expected a long time ago. Parenting is hard that way.

So yesterday was a day of frustration for everyone involved and the countdown was more of a let down. But today is a new day, and maybe we can both find some new 'tudes to go with it.