Changes are afoot

This week I enrolled in culinary school. Somehow, I had hoped that making a decision and moving forward with my choice would make me feel less stressed about the changes that need to happen in my life. This did not happen. If anything, I feel a little more anxious.

Attending school means that I can no longer afford a lazy, unhurried morning routine with my child. Instead we will have a concrete deadline every morning. I have committed to spending a large amount of cash on a degree that may lead to a career path that is less than suitable for a single mom, and certainly pays less than the Accounting degree I have considered in the past. I have agreed to spend a large amount of my time commuting into the city to attend classes.

But, I have dreamed of doing this since I was a child. When I was 10 I sold my own homemade cookies to my neighbors and delivered them fresh from the oven. When I was in high school, I convinced my friends NOT to make reservations for dinner before the homecoming dance so that I could cook, in my dress, for the lot of us. As an adult, I have sometimes bossily maneuvered others into letting me teach them to cook......whether they wanted to or not.

So I will go and give this a go. Maybe it will be the best career decision ever, or maybe it will be just a way for me to take a little more time for myself before getting my accounting degree and returning to the world I inhabited before Carl got sick. Hopefully, this change will work out for me in the manner that so many before it have; I will start school and wonder why on earth I was so stressed and waited so long because it turned out to be really easy.