Sick and Tired

Sometimes people tell me that it must be very hard to be a single mother. For the most part, I don't feel like it is all that measurable different. (Not that it is easy, but I don't think motherhood is every really EASY especially when the kid is under 5 or so.) Since Carl was gone before Audrey came on to the scene, I have nothing to compare it with. It just is the way it is. In fact, sometimes I feel like it makes it easier. Carl and I never have to agree on rules, or punishments. There can be no feeling that someone is being too lenient or too harsh. Whatever I say goes, for good or bad. It can be quite nice.

That said, illness makes single motherhood HARD. If you are married and you or your kid is sick, you spouse is contractually required to return home. If you have a nice spouse, they may even come back early to let you rest. As a single mom, when someone gets sick some of your support systems jump ship. No one wants to get sick and I understand that. It is particularly hard when I am the one who is sick. When Audrey is sick, the only thing I have to worry about is the two of us going a little crazy because we are trapped in the house and only my mother will brave the illness. When I am sick and Audrey is well or on the upswing of an illness, that is when single motherhood sucks. And hard. All I want to do is crawl into bed and sleep, and all my daughter wants me to do is play and read and cook.

This year is Audrey's first year of preschool/daycare and the illness has been abundant. Today, I can feel myself coming down with yet another cold and I am tired. I know that this will pass, and the cuddling that I get when Audrey is feverish is downright adorable (and possibly why I am always getting sick). But how can you avoid illness when your child is dipping her germ infested fork into your food or sneezing in your face?